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expectations of summer: going to the beach every day, water fights, parties, random day trips, barbecues

reality of summer: moving your laptop so that the sunlight doesn't reflect on the screen when you're trying to blog

boy: shit baby you're so wet already

girl: that's actually just vaginal discharge and my body is cleansing itself from bacteria and dead cells to prevent infection and to maintain optimal reproductive health i'm not even all that turned on right now and i would prefer to go get some food or something

#af   #fav   

jesuschristvevo:

i hate teachers who dont let u go to the bathroom because “too many people went already” like yea but none of those people were me and our bladders arent connected so just because they peed already doesnt mean i dont have to pee anymore

thecompanionsdoctor:

thecompanionsdoctor:

Whenever my friend says goodnight to me on Skype he sends me this gif

and I wanted to send it to him tonight so I went to Google “black man turning off lamp” but Google autofill changed it to “black man turning into jet” and I got this

Long story short it’s 1am and I’ve been laughing at this for approximately 20 years

Which one of you assholes brought this back

#laf   #reminder   

me half-way through shaving one leg: i dont want to do this anymore

mama-bird:

coffeeandklonopin:

coffeeandklonopin:

carpe diem - seize the day

carpe noctem - seize the night

carpe natem - seize the ass

Seriously, if you guys don’t stop reblogging this I am going to carpe someone’s neck and break it.

carpe collum - seize the neck

mycroft-holmes-approves:

sodamnrelatable:

Diet ideas: Eat whatever you want, and if anyone tries to lecture you about your weight, eat them too.